false alarm. still invincible.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
