I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
