What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
