So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
its not stalking. its research.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
