the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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