He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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