where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
