Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
