when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
