just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
this is an emotional support booty call
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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