i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
