is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
