Grow some girl-balls and come out already
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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