Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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