i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
