Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
