he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
