so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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