I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
