I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Dear god my vagina.
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