i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
