it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
