Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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