i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
