wakey wakey hands off snakey
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The beer is more important than you right now.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
