he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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