the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
