i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Two words: blizzard sex
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
