You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
