Are we in a gay sports bar?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can't turn off my feet"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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