walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
