just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
