i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
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