she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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