p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
