Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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