are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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