Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
