weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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