mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
