And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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