I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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