I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
