The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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