If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
