come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
