good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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