The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
