She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
