I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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