SEEEEXXX PLEASE
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
