So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
