Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
