Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There's always time for handjobs
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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